Staying Present Without Turning Away

With everything that is going on in current events at the moment, I felt that the topic I wrote for teams last week was just as pertinent for leadership. I know it is heavy. I know it's a lot. There are so many BIG feelings right now that it is critically important that you take a deep breath and use your tools to regulate your emotions and support yourself.

There’s a quiet question many leaders are carrying right now — one that often stays unspoken:

If I focus on my work, my family, and the people right in front of me, am I ignoring what’s happening in the world? But if I stay fully informed and emotionally engaged with everything unfolding, how do I keep from feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or depleted?

For leaders — especially those in helping professions — this tension can feel heavy.

Leadership already requires awareness, emotional presence, and responsibility for others. You care deeply. You’re paying attention. And at the same time, you still have teams to support, relationships to nurture, responsibilities to manage, and your own well-being to protect.

This isn’t about tuning out reality. And it’s not about carrying the full weight of it, either. It’s about learning how to hold both — staying present without disconnecting, and staying aware without burning yourself out.

The False Choice Leaders Are Often Given

Many leaders feel caught in a quiet either/or:

• Either you stay informed, engaged, and emotionally invested — and live in a near-constant state of stress, anger, or exhaustion.

• Or you focus on your day-to-day life and leadership responsibilities — and feel guilty, avoidant, or as if you’re not doing “enough.”

But presence and awareness are not opposites. They were never meant to compete. And your nervous system was never designed to operate in a constant state of alert.

Being present does not mean pretending things are fine when they’re not.Being aware does not require you to absorb everything, all the time.

Our brains are exceptionally good at detecting threat. They are far less skilled at distinguishing between immediate danger and ongoing exposure to stressful information. When we repeatedly take in heavy news, emotionally charged conversations, and distressing stories — even when they’re not directly happening to us — our nervous system often reacts as if the threat is personal and ongoing.

Over time, this can show up as:

• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions

• Irritability, emotional numbness, or fatigue

• Trouble sleeping or fully resting

• A constant sense of being “on edge”

• Guilt around rest, joy, or moments of calm

For leaders in home visiting and other helping roles, this effect can be amplified. You’re already attuned to stress — in families, in staff, in systems. Empathy is one of your greatest strengths. Without boundaries, it can quietly become a source of depletion.

Staying present isn’t avoidance. Often, it’s regulation.

Here’s a reframe worth naming clearly:

Staying present isn’t turning away from the world. It’s choosing where your limited energy goes so you can lead well.

Presence increases capacity. It allows you to:

• Listen more deeply

• Respond instead of react

• Notice what people actually need in the moment

• Lead with steadiness rather than urgency

When you’re grounded, you become a calm point of reference — not because everything around you is calm, but because you are. That steadiness matters more than we often realize, both at work and at home.

Being present doesn’t mean you don’t care about broader issues. It means you care enough to protect your ability to keep going. Awareness is important. It keeps us compassionate and connected. But there’s a point where awareness quietly shifts into something else — rumination, hypervigilance, or emotional flooding.

Some gentle signs this might be happening include:

• Feeling drained rather than informed after engaging with news or conversations

• Carrying tension in your body long after exposure

• Feeling guilty when you try to step away

• Feeling pressure to stay emotionally “on” even when you’re exhausted

This isn’t a failure of leadership. It’s a nervous system response. You were never meant to hold everything at once.

Choosing How and When You Engage

One of the most powerful leadership skills right now is moving from constant engagement to intentional engagement.

This doesn’t mean disengaging from the world. It means deciding — with care — how much, how often, and in what way you take things in.

Some leaders find it helpful to:

• Set boundaries around when they consume news or social media

• Notice how their body feels before and after engaging

• Take breaks without needing to justify them

• Redirect attention back to the present moment when overwhelm builds

The goal isn’t to be uninformed. The goal is to remain resourced. You are allowed to choose awareness with boundaries.

Letting Go of the Guilt

This may be one of the hardest pieces.

Many leaders carry quiet guilt for:

• Laughing when things feel heavy

• Enjoying moments of peace

• Focusing on daily responsibilities instead of the bigger picture

• Feeling okay when others are struggling

But here’s the truth:

Calm does not mean you don’t care. Joy does not cancel compassion. Presence does not erase awareness. Rest and grounding are not betrayals of reality — they are what make sustained leadership possible.

You are not required to suffer constantly in order to lead with integrity.

For leaders, presence is not a luxury. It’s part of the responsibility. Families and staff don’t need you carrying the weight of the entire world. They need you regulated, attentive, and human.

Staying present allows you to:

• Respond thoughtfully instead of from overwhelm

• Model steadiness during uncertainty

• Protect your long-term sustainability as a leader

In that way, presence becomes an act of responsibility — to yourself, to your team, and to the work you believe in.

If you’re feeling pulled between staying aware and staying grounded, try this reflection sometime this week:

• What feels real and immediate in front of me right now?

• What is mine to carry in this moment?

• What can I gently set down — just for today?

You don’t have to decide this forever. Just for now.

Then take one slow breath. Notice where you are. Notice what you’re doing. Notice that this moment — this conversation, this task, this connection — matters too.

You can care deeply about the world and tend to your own nervous system. You can stay informed and protect your peace. You can be present without ignoring reality.

Holding both isn’t easy — but it’s honest. And it’s human.